Saturday, April 24, 2010

This is my brain on terror, codeine, and Valium

In the last week, I have not read a word in print. Kasia sent me an amazing book in Polish, filled with editorial commentary and a selection of poetry to detour into at prescribed moments. I haven't been able to face even opening it.

Before I flew over, I had almost completed Trial of Flowers, and wrote a review of it on Goodreads soon after arriving in Chicago - excellent book, by the way. Some days later, I realized that I had either lost all memory of the denouement, or simply skipped it altogether - the latter seemed more likely since, on struggling through the final dozen pages absolutely nothing past a certain point rang a bell.

Vicodin is simply amazing, and I still have two nearly full 40-tablet bottles if it, but I think it might be time to stop taking it. It certainly bears most of the credit for getting me through last week, and I've even managed, with laser-like focus, to do productive work under the influence (not that the code reviews have come back yet to assess the quality :P).

With that said, I also feel moderately abominable in the morning, so I'll stick with the morning and evening Valium regimen a little longer, and switch to Tylenol. Liver replacements are common-place and easy to get for us over-privileged white males anyway.

Oh, wait...

Anyway, Tony delivered me home late last night, and was kind enough to stay for a game of Ticket to Ride. Shannon was up briefly, and said that she simply hadn't been expecting just how much of a change to my face this procedure would make. Given that three or four separate ID checks at the airport had gone off with neither a hitch nor producing the surgeon's letter, I'm not totally confident in the objective quality of her judgement - I'm guessing there's an uncanny valley in the appearance of those close to us, where we can be entirely oblivious to their hair style or hair colour (or, say, hypothetically, the complete absence of eyebrows), but change past a certain degree (perhaps even swelling, bandaging, or discoloration) will trigger a much larger reaction than it would in a more casual acquaintance.

If all goes to plan, I'll be coming up to SF on Wednesday afternoon, and will be at Noisebridge on Wednesday evening. Then we shall see.

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